I am ranting!
I am out of control!
I am convinced that relaxing can be a STRESSFUL job!
Sounds oxymoronic! Sounds really CRAZY!
Zounds …like a writing prompt!
Must turn to gratitude and run away from,
THIS CURRENT SEAT:
being CENTERED IN ME
the Lazy Girl Recliner has recently nearly INGESTED me
like the Dentist who put his head in the Crocodile’s mouth.
THE CHAIR has become detrimental to MY health! Has bitten my B*&%!
When combining the viewing of NEVER ENDING
SAPPY HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIES
And the pulling of one stiff, lifthandle mechanism one too many times
This normally desireable and belovedly perceived piece of furniture and fixture,
akin to high fat snack food (yuck) and NFL FOOTBALL (eh, okay)
HAS Transformed into a Friggin TORTURE device! FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!
“This is AN OPINION,” I would say to my students, “NOT A FACT!”
This is strictly my view, as seen in my eyes and felt UNDER MY SEAT!
My back is killing me and my abs are cramping from sustaining this prescribed stance
and unGODLY, vulnerable position for way too long! Bah!!!!
It has been FIVE DAYS, (not that long….COOL!) in fact,
not even a week since the surgery
and I have NOW broken my body….(shouting) IN A CHAIR!!!
Not what I had anticipated.
I have broken the odds in hurting myself in DOING NOTHING!!!!
INJURY INCURRED…..NOT IN BREAKING the RULES, but rather in…
KEEPING THEM! BAH!
I admit, I HAVE BROKEN THE STAIRS RULE multiple times,
and taken several walks outside in sun and in snow (to my benefit, and improvement).
Then, today I found myself, (jockied in the chair) in a state of mind,
(Disclaimer: This gets scary)
CONTEMPLATING “buying up” to 130 additional kickboxing punch passes
to my home away from home and school…. ILOVEKICKBOXINGSANDY! Bah!
NOT THE DRUGS TALKING PEOPLE! Never took the Percocet! I am off the icepack,
and only on IBuprofin a couple times a day, and sleeping through the night…..
mostly PAINLESS, (Praise!)
BUTT for the EFFECTS OF THE CHAIR!
FANTASIES OF KICKBOXING…..
THIS was a high point on a Monday,
shining star of hope, bright November snowy day,
matching smiles and warm liquid feelings obtained at Park City Roasters
and the WRITING of the beginning of a Christmas story!!!
I DECIDED I am buying the punch passes tomorrow, even IF it goes against reason
AND it IS a lot of money,
AND even though I will have to delay use in waiting until 2015 to use them.
I AM CALLING THIS MY IMPROVEMENT PLAN!
And VALLEY MENTAL HEALTH VISION, if not application without the paperwork.
See, I promised my surgeon that I will be GOOD! And, I have to keep my promises, or
at least try to keep them….or I have No credibility in the eyes of my students and GOD,
As well as RUNNING the risk of hurting myself,
But just for the record, there is no way around doing stairs.
This is the exception to RECOVERY RULES… and REASON,
because the shower is downstairs. DUDE!
I am so GRATEFUL for the hot shower, because showering is one of the few
simple pleasures of this convalescence! I just can’t SOAK!
So, the STAIRS have had no noticeable negative physical effects!
And, as a matter of fact….DOING THE STAIRS FEELS GOOD!
And doing dishes FEELS GOOD! And STANDING, and MOVING FEELS GOOD!
I have concluded: If there were not snow on the ground, and I lived in the SOUTH or the
EAST, and it was in the 70 degree range…..I might be tempted to MOW THE GRASS!
CRAZY THOUGHT, YES!
I have also CONCLUDED:
The mind is a powerful tool in healing.
What you believe….to be true for you……IS TRUE FOR YOU!!!!
& ONE SIZE RECOVERY DIRECTIVES DO NOT FIT ALL PEOPLE!
I am having a shape sorter day dream, or square peg in a round hole visual
take residency in my brain.
I am learning that the HEALING process is FLUID, not STATIC for me.
Thank God! I am so grateful for this! Truly!
I am figuring this out as I go. Go figure…in spite of feeling frequently LOST,
or at least frequently having “the lost look” and feeling,
I am once again found in PRAYER,
or in assembly
Fanning a hot flash impression,
and scanning Christian Contemporary
until found again in Jesus.
I think there is a metaphore to be found here and there, and everywhere,
even in pain and whining about stupid, trivial things.
I am also convinced that I am going to have to start visiting
the Family Tree
Assisted Living again…..not as a resident, mind you, but as a VISITOR!
….even if Granny has packed up the Boost, and moved to greener pastures to be with
There is likely some little old someone climbing that tree in Morgan
who I need to find
and share some Shel Silverstein
and apple beer, or applesauce with
to swell my heart
to HEALING once again. 🙂