BAH! Furniture Recovery: Musings on Pain, Healing, Rest, Relaxation, Sleep, & that one lost sheep, sometimes ME!

NO TO THE CHAIR

I am ranting!

I am out of control!

I am convinced that relaxing can be a STRESSFUL job!

Sounds lamenting….Sorry.

Sounds oxymoronic! Sounds really CRAZY!

Zounds …like a writing prompt!

Must turn to gratitude and run away from,

THIS CURRENT SEAT:

being CENTERED IN ME

BUT,

the Lazy Girl Recliner has recently nearly INGESTED me

like the Dentist who put his head in the Crocodile’s mouth.

THE CHAIR has become detrimental to MY health! Has bitten my B*&%!

When combining the viewing of NEVER ENDING

SAPPY HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIES

And the pulling of  one stiff, lifthandle mechanism one too many times

This normally desireable and belovedly perceived piece of furniture and fixture,

akin to high fat snack food (yuck) and NFL FOOTBALL (eh, okay)

HAS Transformed into a Friggin TORTURE device! FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!

“This is AN OPINION,” I would say to my students,  “NOT A FACT!”

This is strictly my view, as seen in my eyes and felt UNDER MY SEAT!

My back is killing me and my abs are cramping from sustaining this prescribed stance

and unGODLY, vulnerable position for way too long!  Bah!!!!

It has been FIVE DAYS, (not that long….COOL!) in fact,

not even a week since the surgery

and I have NOW broken my body….(shouting)  IN A CHAIR!!!

Not what I had anticipated.

I have broken the odds in hurting myself in DOING NOTHING!!!!

INJURY INCURRED…..NOT IN BREAKING the RULES, but rather in…

KEEPING THEM! BAH!

I admit, I HAVE BROKEN THE STAIRS RULE multiple times,

and taken several walks outside in sun and in snow (to my benefit, and improvement).

Then, today I found myself,  (jockied in the chair) in a state of mind,

(Disclaimer: This gets scary)

CONTEMPLATING  “buying up” to 130 additional kickboxing punch passes

to my home away from home and school…. ILOVEKICKBOXINGSANDY! Bah!

NOT THE DRUGS TALKING PEOPLE!  Never took the Percocet! I am off the icepack,

and only on IBuprofin a couple times a day, and sleeping through the night…..

mostly PAINLESS, (Praise!)

BUTT for the EFFECTS OF THE CHAIR!

FANTASIES OF KICKBOXING…..

THIS was a high point on a Monday,

shining star of hope, bright November snowy day,

matching smiles and warm liquid feelings obtained at Park City Roasters

and the WRITING of the beginning of a Christmas story!!!

I DECIDED I am buying the punch passes tomorrow, even IF it goes against reason

AND it IS a lot of money,

AND even though I will have to delay use in waiting until 2015 to use them.

I AM CALLING THIS MY IMPROVEMENT PLAN!

And VALLEY MENTAL HEALTH VISION, if not application without the paperwork.

See, I promised my surgeon that I will be GOOD!  And, I have to keep my promises, or

at least try to keep them….or I have No credibility in the eyes of my students and GOD,

As well as RUNNING the risk of hurting myself,

Huh!?

But just for the record,  there is no way around doing stairs.

This is the exception to RECOVERY RULES… and REASON,

because the shower is downstairs.  DUDE!

I am so GRATEFUL for the hot shower, because showering is one of the few

simple pleasures of this convalescence!  I just can’t SOAK!

So, the STAIRS have had no noticeable negative physical effects!

And, as a matter of fact….DOING THE STAIRS FEELS GOOD!

And doing dishes FEELS GOOD!  And STANDING, and MOVING FEELS GOOD!

I have concluded: If there were not snow on the ground, and I lived in the SOUTH or the

EAST, and it was in the 70 degree range…..I might be tempted to MOW THE GRASS!

CRAZY THOUGHT, YES!

I have also CONCLUDED:

The mind is a powerful tool in healing.

What you believe….to be true for you……IS TRUE FOR YOU!!!!

&  ONE SIZE RECOVERY DIRECTIVES DO NOT FIT ALL PEOPLE!

I am having a shape sorter day dream, or square peg in a round hole visual

take residency in my brain.

I am learning that the HEALING process is FLUID, not STATIC for me.

Thank God!  I am so grateful for this! Truly!

I am figuring this out as I go.  Go figure…in spite of feeling  frequently LOST,

or at least frequently having “the lost look” and feeling,

I am once again found in PRAYER,

or SONG,

or in assembly

among Evangelicals,

Fanning a hot flash impression,

and scanning Christian Contemporary

until found again in Jesus.

I think there is a metaphore to be found here and there, and everywhere,

even in pain and whining about stupid, trivial things.

I am also convinced that I am going to have to start visiting

the Family Tree

Assisted Living again…..not as a resident, mind you, but as a VISITOR!

….even if Granny has packed up the Boost, and moved to greener pastures to be with

Jesus.

There is likely some little old someone climbing that tree in Morgan

who I need to find

and share some Shel Silverstein

and apple beer, or applesauce with

to swell my heart

to HEALING once again.  🙂

Advertisements

About hrobertson2013

“Each man ( and mermaid) will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land”. Isa 32:2 NIV Warning: The author of this blog is not an ordinary individual. Even Mermaids need a rest from all that's real and grown up. Welcome to the wonder of blog. Come be audience to all that's wet and wild in her stories, poems and thoughts. Instructor by day, super hero by night, and mystical mermaid by summer. Whenever she has the fortune of diving into a pond, reservoir, or mountain waterfall, you'll find her there swimming, and singing songs of life.
This entry was posted in Bah, Complaints, High Back Recliners, Too Much of A good thing. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to BAH! Furniture Recovery: Musings on Pain, Healing, Rest, Relaxation, Sleep, & that one lost sheep, sometimes ME!

  1. Kathy Waller says:

    If you want punch passes, you should have punch passes. I hope you bought them.

    • I did. 130 passes. I am doing more, and fearing less in moderating my recovery. Movement so much a part of who I am. Today my daughter and I went sledding. I crashed wonderfully and I am all the better for it! Bruise or no bruise. BRUISE! ha ha!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s