Necklaces and Metaphores: Isaiah 52:1
It was Sunday morning. I was readying to attend the church of my childhood, and not feeling very happy about it. I was spinning to wishings of other religious roots. From this place, I gazed into the bureau mirror. My expression confirmed the feeling. I didn’t like what I saw, and so I shifted focus from feeling to clothing choice.
The dress looked well enough. We were both attempting…. new navy blue, feminine, lacy, and not sweaty running clothes. We were on our way to looking good.
I was accessorizing now, hurriedly trying on earrings, and necklace combinations. Still needed makeup besides. The necklace had one of those hook clasps that require a pinching motion to open and to engage. I needed the clasp to take hold, bite if you will into the opening along the end of the opposing delicate chain’s end. This was not an easy task. It was not going as planned.
Over and over I attempted this feat which required patience, dexterity and perfect eyesight. Latching should not be so difficult I thought. The hardware and even the simple motion was not so different from chaining up Jimmer and Boozer at the hay barn. In the barn I could usually succeed fairly quickly in our pets’ submission. Here, attachment was not so easily acquired, and a commanding voice and presence were to no advantage.
After ten or more attempts with a thumb and pointer finger, I felt I was making more progress in rubbing raw my fingerprints. This is when I let go and looked UP and away from the situation. In this split second of near distraction, by some freak streak of luck the clasp caught and held fast. Epiphony suggested that in trying too hard at something so simple, I had instead made it nearly impossible and additionally painful.
Things happen for a reason. I am usually left discovering the meaning in hindsight. Some things just happen in their own time…..internal things and thinkings. External ones, and eternal ones too. Trying too hard can impede process and progress. Remembering Grace helps here. Then, just when things begin to feel righted…..they are not, and additional change is required. This is the journey in this life. It could also be the Pride cycle. I think…..I don’t want to put anyone into a “pinch clasp” in attempting love. Hm.
I finally resolved securing the necklace to its “proper” place around my neck. I sized it up to see how it fit with overall appearance, and concluded: ”It might as well be a studded dog collar!” It wasn’t going to work.
This is when I chose to smile and laugh a little consolation laugh. After all of this, I was not going with it. I was rejecting the jewelry…..deciding on no necklace at all. Or it was rejecting me. Wow. Ha ha.
Almost in this moment I saw the metaphore. Sometimes I try so hard at a thing, almost to obsession, that in the trying the thing just does not work. Maybe these endeavors were just not the right fit or function for me at the time. I also realized that Force never was power or Love. Trying requires choice for all, trial, error, patience, and being more gentle with ourselves and with others. Kindness. Gentleness.
At times, from our places of failures, trying asks for redesign and resignation to someone or something other than self and ones own will. Hard pill to take.
This pill taking I tend to fight too. Don’t much believe in pill taking, but I think I am supposed to learn this lesson, because recently I had the scare of my life and had to humbly take an antibiotic away from UTI. Again, here I realized…There are those who do care about me regardless bedside manner and tough love. All in all though, Christ is the great physician I must prescribe to. Perhaps I should start taking my pills more with a smile. Some day the remedy may become delicious like Flintstone vitamins.