Own Physician?



Jesus was mocked by the home town crowd. In one of His greatest hours of need he was a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief. If anyone could cure himself, it would be Jesus. But he chose His Father’s will, not His own.

From the “Eye of the Storm,” our weekly reading selection, I could tell you that I am talking mostly about a super storm, Hurricane Andrew, and this would be true by 4th grade Common Core Standards. But I am not talking about the “Eye” of this “Storm.” Rather, I am talking about the natural disaster that has hit me, my home, and my school. I am speaking of H1N1.

H1N1 is a flu strain responsible for the current flu pandemic. I think I have it, or something like it. I have not been tested. I have not had the nasal swab, a blood test, or been given Tama-flu. Also, I have not been this ill since I was 14 years old, lived in Texas and had the worst summer viral respiratory cold of my life. That one WAS equal to or worse than this one. Some consolation, huh?

Back then, nothing made it feel better either. I really thought I would die a young tragic death before my time. And on a day that should have been a celebratory milestone into high school, I could only pray I would not die before Freshman year.

My Happy Birthday, felt more like a Sad Death Date. I was so sick. I remember. I was seething mad at my mother for making me get out of bed, with a throbbing head to hold a stupid homemade cake, fake smile, and cheese it up for the camera. She just would not take NO for an answer. I hated her for this. I could barely stay upright with the virus, and likely strep on top of it. But she insisted. I stood and made my mother’s day at my own expense. This was insane. You’d have thought it was her birthday, not mine. Bad parenting no doubt.

This time I know I will be okay. I woke from a dream and quickly wrote down the strange prophetic words:

Curandera by H. Robertson

You can not help but imagine

the swishing of hellos and goodbyes

that say “Death.”


The cure is coming.

It’s coming

in the eye of the Curandera

the witch.

She says

the cure is coming

just as you imagined

it would.

It’s not your time to die.

When acquaintances at work heard my gravely voice today, noticed the characteristic smile off the hinges, they freely offered advice and remedies and kept their distance with holy crosses.

Did you get some medicine?”

Have you been to the doctor?”

Are you any better?”

To which I have replied…

Uh, I’m working on it.” Or,

I don’t believe in going to the doctor much.”

Even Profe’ is hinting around that maybe I should reconsider and get help.

My husband just says, “It has to run it’s course.” and “They say you should still get a flu shot anyway, whether you’ve had flu of not this winter.” I have resolved to take sick days, write substitute plans, and leave work, something I have not done in seven years. All of this to take up my bed in healing. What’s that? I am feeling new at being my own Physician in these unfamiliar paths.

I have been a firm believer this last year in perfect health and have enjoyed this thing in the adoption of the Law of Attraction, giving credit to the Power of the Positive, water, nutrition, exercise, and sleep. I have been my own Physician in prevention and maintenance. Of course, “the well” don’t need a physician, but even in mild sickness, or ailments….like exhaustion, or the occasional sprained ankle, I have nursed myself back to health. This has largely worked very well, and left me with a few bragging rights in this thing. I was a fool.

This flu is not something to trifle with. It goes on for weeks, even with doctor visits and antibiotics, it is not easy to beat…so I’ve heard. But I have not gone this route. I have sort of thought it stupid to think pills, and the makings of men can cure this thing. I have also been crazy to think that I alone can control this storm surge. In being reduced to a steaming amoeba, in the solitude of a salty sea of sweat, I have been reminded of my nothingness. Only God has the power and Grace to grant me restoration of health. I am reminded again, to be still and know He is God.

Too, it is somewhat confusing at times, when the media wants us to believe that there is a power and holiness in a pill, or treatment, or procedure promised daily on prime time Cable programing and infomercials. Any and every ailment imaginable to man can be cured by a pill in no more than a few moments of Sales. If you have Atrial Fibrillation, you can work in a green house with your daughter, and pop a pill with a high-end bottled water and be cured without even breaking a sweat, or altering a lazy life style.

I am actually very disgusted that I am held hostage to the Pharmaceuticals each and every time I attempt watching prime time television or cable. So, I am writing a new commercial and jingle in boycotting all other Pharmaceutical commercials. Something like… (Imagine me singing this.)

Watching more that one of these advertisements withing a three month period of time will reduce your life by 3-7 years and cause a slew of complications, some ending even in death.” Ha ha. I laugh, but really I am very angry that a segment of society can have so much power over a people who are typically freedom loving and God fearing. We need to be more Pharmaceutical fearing, I think.

What has happened to us? I hear a beloved acapella group sing “Radio Killed the Radio Star” thinking we have lulled and wooed ourselves into a quiet, self inflicted death of “too much” and “too little” toward “too sick and too lazy.” And then we get angry when we cannot be healed faster.

OM-Gosh we are so stiff-necked in our stubbornness and in our wearing of neck braces for the purpose if only to sue our neighbor for rear ending us in our texting and driving. In this insanity, we have forgotten that God is in the driver’s seat.

No matter how wise we are in arriving alive at 25, this safe arrival will not be due to our doing. Rather it will be because of God’s grace and gifting us our daily bread and breath. I need to remember this when I become discouraged with my own slow recovery, and pray prayers of more gratitude, less attitude.

Our prescription happy society has been deceived into this buy our way to quick health mentality. Similarly, we have been promised effortless weight loss through a glamourous diet, or a lap band procedure. Some even think that making and eating cookies while bragging about working at Subway “Eat Fresh” holds the magic key to this thing. Lies.

I know a farce when I see one. The way to loose weight of course is through moderation and healthy intake of protein, fruits, and deep green vegetables, with lots of fiber and water besides. Reduction of fats, sugars, and salt. Less stress in our lives, and more laughter and love. Or if this is not happening, you can alwuz just get the flu. This is guaranteed to drop a couple of pants sizes, with or without the throwing up and diarrhea. Seriously?!

It has been said that vitamin D is the hidden remedy for the flu. I may have to try this in going outside and soaking up the sun. I can even taste the sugar in milk these days, and have switched to organic and almond brands. I would like to believe that changing sheets, and hanging myself on the clothesline would do the trick, and be another better choice, along with staying hydrated and hopeful. Staying down in bed and sleeping, the one and only best course. This from Yoda Blog Master, who persuaded me sequester my computer and give up the writing for a few days. Babye 270.

I thought after a weekend of being down, I would actually have a full recovery just in time for the new work week. I was wrong. I was a fool. So I have been learning the hard way, just how wrong I am about being the ultimate Physician. I have learned again, that “It is not up to me. Life is played out in God’s terms, not mine. Why do I ever forget this thing. I am crazy, I think, but I have been improving in my Prayer of Vitamin D…ear God, pleading almost on the hour.

And so…..there you go. I have been playing at being my own physician. Please don’t mock me. My heart is usually, mostly sometimes in the right place in loving my God, my neighbor, and myself. I am ready for God to love on me and heal me now. 🙂


About hrobertson2013

“Each man ( and mermaid) will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land”. Isa 32:2 NIV Warning: The author of this blog is not an ordinary individual. Even Mermaids need a rest from all that's real and grown up. Welcome to the wonder of blog. Come be audience to all that's wet and wild in her stories, poems and thoughts. Instructor by day, super hero by night, and mystical mermaid by summer. Whenever she has the fortune of diving into a pond, reservoir, or mountain waterfall, you'll find her there swimming, and singing songs of life.
Gallery | This entry was posted in Creatures and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Own Physician?

  1. Great post you bring together so many interesting ideas, including poetry! I do believe in mind over matter, and in the power of prayer, and there have been scientific studies confirming that positive influence. Sometimes what’s needed too, is to just enjoy the downtime (as much as possible, of course)–let other take care of you, baby yourself, drench yourself in lots of self-love, and see God everywhere.

  2. Thank you for this kindness, Deborah. Reading your blog is part of my on-going pampering. Your stuff is really great! Do you still sail around? Am I remembering this thing correctly? Just wondering because I am a Mermaid of the open seas… ha ha! This is tricky, as Utah is land locked. 🙂

    • I wish I still sailed around! In my dreams and memories I still do. I was wondering about the mermaid thing. Then I read your “about” and now I know. I love the way you think about things, and the way you write about them too. I’ll be following your work here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s