In contemplating love and marriage, straight and not-straight preferences, and erroneous presumptions, I am wondering something. If my step sons were to choose a character from Disney to wed, whom would they choose? Which Disney Princess would they pick? They are malcontent with real live girls, so eh?! Why not? In the end, I will ask you to comment on who you would choose for yourself, and more importantly why? Seriously. This is not a joke. More like….an amusement.
My step-sons are not gay. They simply have not found the chosen one in marriage. They’re thirty-something virgins. Maybe.
The oldest boy dates women exhaustively in running up credit cards. No single girl is good enough, and so he travels the world in search. At Thanksgiving, one lovely girl shuttled this boy home to our family farm from the airport. He would not get a rental car. Too cold for riding his own Harley, and no one else to pick him up. A month later, he sent the woman through the sister sieve. She took our girls to lunch in Park City. They fell in love with her, a real prospect for their brother. This was encouraging. Don’t know much else. There was rumor she was moving to New York.
The second boy is rather thrifty, builds computers that he wishes he could soak in mineral oil (for its cooling factor). In introversion he fears rejection of the opposite gender. He will not take risks. He had a best girlfriend he loved since high school. Converted her to Mormonism, then stood by and watched her marry someone else. Somewhat tragic by Mormon standards. By any standard, I think. Still calls and carries on as if this thing did not happen.
I have to wonder if they are happy with their lot in life. I think yes. While they are on their own in having jobs and living away from mother, there are still umbilical chords. She monitors their bank accounts, pays school loans, and orders up plane tickets. Wonder if they talk weekly or daily. At least she used to do these things a few years ago. I think this is still true. Whatever works, I guess.
I have to wonder why people feel they have to busy themselves about this marriage thing. In following suit of natural mothers and Disneyland Wicked Step Mothers (me, jk about the wicked) I wonder though, just a little. And while it fascinates me, I don’t ask questions anymore at Thanksgiving.
I wonder if this staying single is a trend in the United states. In Utah getting married after thirty almost unheard of by Mormon standards of times past. Not any more I guess. My youngest sister was recently married at thirty-one, and not in the temple. This the exception for practicing Utah Mormons. Mark’s boys are Mormon, but they live out of state. They volunteer regularly in temples near their locales.
Is staying single longer a trend in the United States, irrespective of religion? Like being married to the X-box for thirty-somethings, or living at home well past the welcome has been worn out has become the new standard. Is face book, “going live,” exchanging controllers, and trading likes and follows on blogs taking the place of real relationships? Or are relationships changing? Are smart phones making us any smarter in how we communicate and love each other? And…..is good old fashion, taking work home sometimes still personified and preferred. I don’t know. Technology and work can take a toll if not balanced. I’m living proof in driving myself to sickness in over thinking and over writing nonsense.
I did not have these same distractions when I was courting an older divorced husband at the young age of twenty-two. We met at work. My motivation to find love in someone who would treat me kindly, and to do right by my religion. I finally came around to him, after much personal destruction and humbling. He very likely saved me from myself. Then I became another young married Mormon bride statistic. I arrived here, mostly by adoption, after much forgiveness that would not be complete for years. In spite of lots of blunders, produced a lovely family, maintained a faithful husband, bore blessed children, and even made a career. This brings me to date. Now writing. A new obsession that I must learn to bridle. 🙂
These are quite amazing gifts, I think, and thank my God for these things almost daily. Sometimes I feel I don’t deserve them as I disappear into myself and into writing. Causes me to shut my Mac, climb out of bed, to interact in watching Halmark movies in the front room. We used to feed cows together when we had a herd and our Italian son was here to share the work.
Leads me to ask what young people want now in their partners? As Americans, we have been fed the Disney diet for many years. So, here it is…..If you were to chose among concessions, and movie bills, a character to wed from Disney, which one would you choose? And why? I await your comments.