Sunday, November 3, 2013
Dear Elders Robertson and Newton,
It’s Sunday night, and I am so happy to be writing to you both. All is well enough here in Want-a-Sheep, Utah. It has turned cooler. COLD! Snow this morning and off and on throughout the day. Fast and Testimony Meeting. I don’t usually care for this much these days. Somehow today was different though. I think I need a kinder view of church people, and humanity in general. I tried to approach services more in this way today, realizing that the human family, (we) are all just trying to find our way. Easier with God and Christ gently leading.
Vern Williams kicked off the sharing. I love listening to Vern. He is a counselor in the Bishopric. Also a school board member. Vern gave a speech at opening academy (back to school) two years ago that I like to call the “Blueberry Message.” He essentially spoke to the need to love all students regardless of who or where they are along the learning curve….to love and teach unconditionally. I especially love Vern’s genuineness and humor. So, it was a treat to hear him speak (cry) in church today. No matter what is said, I’d like to think I am hearing things of the heart coming through. I am glad that I can hear and feel these things of the spirit even though and am coming from a sinners place most days. Sunday is definitely a favorite day for me. Wish every day were like this in every person’s intents and motives… including my own. I think the world, and communities would have a different feel if it were so. I am going to try to love every person I encounter this week in being present for them. We shall see.
Karen, who bears the name of dad’s GPS Garmin device followed Vern. Started out a bit too pragmatic, but soon went to a heart place. I think I share her problem at times….in coming across too strongly….a turn off. There were others. Brother “Leave it to Deaver.” Documented his unique upbringing in Northern Africa, his parent’s conversion to the LDS church. Father formerly Episcopal. Mother Presbiterian from W. Virginia. A modern day pioneer story of sorts of faithfulness and foritude. Very interesting. Bro. Deaver seems lonely somehow, disconnected. I know the feeling. He is a teacher at West High I think. Wealth of political science knowledge. His wife is the Relief Society President. I think I could learn to some day approach attending if she were the one teaching…..maybe.
I am too……something. Judgemental? Dunno. Full of hang ups I guess. For now I am very content hanging out with two-year-olds for two hours each Sunday. On most Sundays I could take or leave the other meetings and greetings. Mostly leave…if it weren’t for the Sacrament Ordinance itself. Don’t feel the love that I would like. This after all comuning with Christ…is the focus of everything. The most important thing of all. I would like to think this remembering is working in my life and in my week. I will try again.
This afternoon I went for a run with the dogs up to Rockport. Today was a far cry from last Sunday’s romp in the sun. Today, cold, and probably in the thirties with snow. Started out running the hills to the spillway in sun, and with your black and white winter hat, double hoodies and running pants this was just fine. I carried my Nalgene water bottle under my arm like a football hold. I thought of teaching this hold some years ago to mothers at a “Moms and Tots” swimming lesson when you and the girls were small and in lessons and precomp. ha ha…. So it started out beautifully today around two oclock. The reservoir was calm. A grouping of six ducks fishing, quickly took flight at the sight of me and the dogs bounding down the dear trail. Another group of four took off around the rocky fortressed outcroppings. On along a very narrow, disappearing bank. I slipped two or three times in navigating this section and nearly sprained my wrist.
Glad I didn’t go down and into the water. Saw my yesterday’s rendering of a mermaid petroglyph on a sandstone boulders. Not even she could help me if I fell in. Fear her kind have long since migrated to warmer waters of Baja Mexico by now.
So the dogs and I plodded on over rocks and sand. Balancing on a large driftwood log. Hurdling random larger rocks and debris. The beach vacant, a blank canvass for the taking and the making of footprints in the sand. Grand! The plan to run as far I we could until encountering other signs of human life.
We made it to the boat launch. Ran out to the end of a protable dock….if only for the sake of my students and studying words like “dock,” “pier,” and “wharf” with one of our reading stories. Then took it all in…in a “Big Picture Kind of Way” as Pastor Scott Fine would say. I have taken up listening to this local pastor’s online audio sermons. He preaches at a small multidenominational evangelical Christian church in Silver Creek behind Bell’s. His words resonate largely on my heart and in my mind. I will tell more of this later.
Any way, I looked across the wind and waves to the west mountains where Rockport Estates lay under a light blanket of fresh snow. Realized that within the thirty minutes the dogs and I had been going at this…..the weather had been in flux and changing. The sky suddenly covering the smiling sun in a huge mass of snow clouds. The sun creating a kind of beautiful back lighting, like on an artist’s light table. Stratus clouds releasing snowflakes and in shifting the wind brought these to me. I knew going farther south was out of the question now.
So in taking orders as if from Karen Garmin to “Make a U-turn in three hundred feet,” we did an about face and just as excitedly headed back toward home. Well….I did. This is where the dogs had other plans. I kind of lost track of them in the chilling. My legs and buttox beyond feeling. My face numb. Thought that if I were offered a warm hot chocolate, or Misto, I would not be capable of drinking with a straw. Resemblant of effects of anesthesia was my face. Thought I could have used some teeth wisdom in turning back sooner. Did not. Willing for last Sunday’s rerun….ha ha get it re- RUN! This one, no longer fun.
My legs and joints no longer complying with what was being asked of them. I could not find it in me to ask them to run, though this would have brought me home faster to the warm fire in the family room. I walked on, and on…thinking……trying to think warmer thoughts. Knowing somewhere in the world happy children were celebrating a marshmellow world in the winter in sledding and catching snowflakes on their tongues. This warmed me a little. Also thought of you Don…..and you Kyler. 🙂 and other imagined friends.
And so in time I made it to and through the backroad gates to horses, and the black and white paint pony who speaks Narnian. Hugged him and moved on. Soon home without the dogs this time….hoping they’d be fine and back for a later dinner.
Such was my afternoon. ha ha….
Just a bit more about Pastor Fine’s sermon. It was a continuation of a study of Paul’s teachings to the Phillipians in Greece. His imprisonment in Rome. Yes, Rome, Donavon! The first part was about Paul’s love for his followers, and his faith and praising of Christ even in bondage. This a bit reminiscent of Joseph Smith in Carthage I think. The second part of the sermon, which I heard this morning while entering math grades on my computer, was about JOY. He outlined the difference between “happiness” and “joy.” Somehow there is a difference. Happiness being a fleeting thing dependent on our mindset, our choices, our righteousness, or sinful state, and our response to circumstances so it seemed. Joy, more rooted in a love of Christ and God and in a reciprication of their love for us. Grace is so huge in this I think. I have not understood this thing “Grace” for much of my life. Not sure I do now, but I would like to. I think it is somehow akin to what the LDS believe and understand to be the power of the atonement of Christ and its workings in a continual conversion process. This all a mystery, I can only hope to encounter in heart renderings….likely through sorrow and humblings……rise up again in feeling His love in spite of everything.
Well…..you should read the Phillipians Chapter 2: something…..all of it I guess. I have not attended to this yet.
That is all. It is November and the daylight savings time change is now in effect. I have no opinion of this. No point in complaining. It just is. Tomorrow’s bus pickup the trial run of this phenomenon. Better go. Hope you have a wonderful week you guys! Much love, Mom…..AKA Heidi or the Mountain 🙂
PS- PLEASE TELL ME SOME STORIES. THIS IS A MUTUAL CORRESPONDENCE FORMAT…….email…..ha ha Thanks for the pics!