Ash Wednesday: The day before Helloween…ha ha
Today is Wednesday. If I were Catholic… I would be a mythical phoenix rising from the ashes of former days. An Ash Wednesday in October day. One step closer to Good Friday day. An early morning lap swim day! Another consecutive day of teaching SCIENCE day. A Professional Learning Team presentation day. An audience of teachers who make me grateful for a classroom of children to teach day. Vulnerable. Grateful.
A day to be hugged and loved by children. An Office staff MIA day somewhere doing prevention take downs and SINGing with Miss Congeniality. A funny fake fossil kit day. A MATHS task day. A sick room full of scarey candy baracades, midway to Halloween day. Somehow this sight of this sugary dosing of death is antiquated with Red Ribboning and “Saying NO to drugs.” Rubs wrong….and yet stacks like welcome data on a Public Parent Survey giving school report cards with good marks. Ahhhh…candy!
A leaner Subway sandwich call-in order day. Made just my way like Mrs. Muffin’s Multiplicity of hats day. Spotlighting Happier t.v. Programming from the Summit Mercantile, and Giraffes french kissing wishing it were really Hump Day. In spite of all of this, rejoice in late arrivals to swim team. Soon to be Sound of Music Marionette performances. A beautifully cold day in the neighborhood day, as I am still feeling grateful for that swim bus yesterday. Thank you, Ms. K.
I am celebrating teaching explicitly and directly seven types of fossils among sequoia size expectations, and petrified wood. Fictionalied the story featuring mineralized giants with mob names like Guido and Mr. Millions in their 3,000 year old arboral biographies. The ridiculous story brings content to life. Then, kids reconstruct a 3D pseudo fossil of a Ceratops. Anita Archer and Karen Samsom would be proud of me today in their “Whoos” and this engagement and makings of homemeade paper book insertions.
Must have been a truly full day…..because I have been falling asleep at the keyboard for the last hour. Five minutes until designated bedtime. Ten minutes beyond it….still the same slipping in and out of consciousness. Sadly, sleepily, I must go, yielding to the body.
But first…..I have a confession. I love being a teacher. Even in the late, after hour glow. This love outweighs everything else about the profession. That is why someday I will be a super teacher defying Dave Matthews Band lyrics and sporting sexy Super Man underwear that I can not show and tell.
Today I feel good in my articulating, and in my assigning gentle consequences, and in my hugging hellos, and farewell forgivings to regretful letter writers. At the same time nearly weeping again in former blog writings that force me to face humility in my humanity and bow to my Gods… in listening to the thoughts of children….some who are wise beyond years.
I grin in feeling that this school family is important. Think we mostly look out for each other. Even in our weaknesses we can wipe away tears, smile, and try again tomorrow, knowing it will be a new day of smiles and wishes, and someone’s happy birthday. That I can find a space to listen.
Grateful that I can forgive two ten year old boys for inappropriate word choice assaults of a girl not deserving to be called lesbian. I feel my lesson being reapplyed again and again in a swelling heart when I read the letters of confession, admission to disappointing their “best” teacher, and committing to not disappoint me again. In forgiving them I can choose to forgive myself. I can follow through on my commitments. Follow directives.
Humbling in how much child things resonate in grown up ways. And how some grown up ways resonate in child rehearsings. A beam in the eye removal. For a moment, humbling in their humbleness. I find love and mercy in seeing myself in them.
What to do that is not too harsh, but felt. In seeing them heal themselves I am also healed. An absolution for me too. A new day of mourning in happy morning announcements and blueberries. Vern would be a proud school board member today as I speed past him on the millrace raising bloodpressure. But for now it’s quickly into slumber.