The Herstory of Spain According to Devon

Dear Anziano Robertson,                                                                                    August 29, 2013


Devon just got home from the Varsity Volleyball game. She is telling me about her edNet History of Spain lecture today. She learned about a Spanish tradition called La Tomatina.

So there’s this giant pole that is greased so it’s super slippery. On the top there is a ham tied. The crowd forms a pyramid of people, and they climb on top of each other to get to the ham and cut it down. Once it’s cut free, the signal is given for a giant tomato fight. Then everyone starts throwing tomatoes at each other until they are slathered. The one and only rule is that you must crush your tomato before you throw it, so it won’t hurt as much when you get hit. So people upwards of twenty thousand attend. Needless to say, many who are not already sauced in the beginning… are sauced in the end.

Christmas Dec. 8 – Jan. 6th is extremely devoted to the religious celebration of Christ’s birth. On Jan. 6 they celebrate Three Kings Day, on which they receive gifts from the Three Kings. People sometimes put their shoes outside the door to await gifts.

This is Devon’s next recollection according to Algebra Class and a bonus bull session with you favorite coach. Lent is like forty days in which they give something up. The LDS version is the weeks before TREK. Truth is….this is a sad duplication, and falls short when eating all that pie that the school cafeteria woman supplies.

In Spain, they can do their sacrificing on weekends or on Sunday. Sounds sort of like Ramadan. After Lent, they have Carnival, which is sort of like the U.S. New Orlean’s Mardi Gras. So basically, people believe that God briefly looks away, and while he does it’s okay to sin like there’s no tomorrow. Sounds like going to Vegas. Not Wendover. Then when God looks back, they repent into Ash Wednesday. After they repent, they get an ash mark on their forehead. A kind of tally mark, but who’s counting?

What is a number that repeats in the decimal places? A repitend.  Kind of sounds like a scaley babysitter, or a snake charmer.

Wanna know more Spain trivia? Bullfighting was popular in the 19th Century in Spain. Now people think it’s inhumane. Today they use cantankerous bulls called “Tempo Bravos.” Now instead they do “The Running of the Bulls.” This is probably much more dangerous than bullfighting.

Also, Devon claims there was once a waterfall up to 12,000 miles high…(some place in Spain.)

Devon wants to learn Click, which is some African language. I think it is just an inappropriate mean girls club. She doesn’t want to learn Catillian. This is also a girls click in which the girls fight a lot and scratch one another. Oh, oops, Catillian is what Americans call “Spanish.” Why is it that some people refer to people of color as “Spanish,” instead of Latinos, Hispanics, Mexican-Americans (or some other self determined ethnic reference)?

Another language of Spain is Galatian. I thought it was a book in the New Testament. Truth is it is also a language, which ¼ of the Spanish population speaks. There’s one other language called Bastian, or Bizzaro. It is related to no other language on Earth, sort of like Elven, or original Adamic. Devon could have learned French compliments of Mr. Greenwood, because we got the license and everything, but she was too lazy.

Delanie is dancing on my bed, and singing “Take a little Nicorette gum and have a little party of your own!” As you can imagine, she is still soooooooo funny!

Devon signed up for the Powder Puff game, and she doesn’t know how the game of football even works. I told her to go to the Varsity Game tomorrow night to observe “How to get a black eye.”

It is nearly 10 p.m. and I haven’t gotten any work done. Think I am succeeding in something else called “Teens,” which is a rarity.

Devon just announced that she got all her algebra done last night, and that she even eventually got all of them right. I just said, “Congratulations. You perservered!” in a kind of common core admiring tone of voice. Bahhh!

My cousin just called to tell me that Aunt Nita (Jamima according to Delanie) died today. This was my dad’s last surviving sibling. No one left now to eat pancakes with. Only the cousins. Boo hoo.

I just told Devon to text her immature boyfriend the following words:  “My mom says that you are a repitend……because you keep breaking up with me.” And then a voice from the sky says, “I didn’t know we were even together.”

So, tonight I went to Subway to NOT buy a sandwhich, because I’m a cheapskate and got no gum. So, your friend, Dusty, the sandwhich artist, asked what kind of sandwhich, and I said,” None, I’m here to get a Samwhich.” So I got in line to get a hug from your waiting-for-a- missionary woman. It was pretty great. I told Sam that I wanted the hug toasted, with extra great toppings. So, yeah. And then I told her “Don’t stress out too much in making the sandwhiches.” She was clearly stressed. I think the hug helped.

Last night around 5 or 5:30 I was going home, down School House Hill and saw the Herdmans in the front yard. They were shouting at passing traffic, “I love cupcakes!” Chance was mauling a premie kitten. So I pulled over to get an update on the beginning days of school. It was fun to see them and to chat on the tailgate of Big Black. I kind of felt like Jesus last night. Hope nobody thought it was creepy me pulling over to talk with some random ragamuffins. I asked permission from Ashley’s mom.

Oh, just one more story from today. This morning, I unlocked the classroom, stowed my cozy sweater and lunch. Said, “Hello,” and gently patted a little boy on the back. Ten minutes later, this little boy, Lachlan’s little brother, found me across the room and said something really funny. He came up to me and said, “Mrs. R. are you wearing perfume?” I said, “Why, is it bothering you?” because I know some people are very sensitive to scents.” He said, “Well, I was watching a show….a documentary, and it said perfumes come from whales’ butts.”

What do you say to that? Hmm. I didn’t know if he was insulting me or just trying to impress me with his knowledge. I think the latter. So I said, “Wow, that’s really interesting. I didn’t know that. I learned something new today.” He is darling. I just knew I would fall for the kids in my new class. This is just the beginning of a great year.

Delanie has a Reading teacher named Mrs. Shepherd. She is making her students read 45 books this year. I have been warning her all summer to start reading. Her idea of reading is looking for hair do-s on Pintrest, and Youtube. Devon had this same teacher her Freshman year. Prior to this the teacher was at Weilenmann. So, this teacher makes her own jokes and laughs at them. I said, “I do this too.” Delanie said, “But she laughs like a sheep….Bahhhhhhhhhhh!” It is funnier when Delanie tells the story.

The night has slipped awayyyyyyyyy! Gotta go to bed. Love, Mom ha ha 🙂

Hope you have a great week!!! I love you soooooooooo much, Don.

I turn on Pandora at school each morning and think of you and your passion for music. 🙂




About hrobertson2013

“Each man ( and mermaid) will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land”. Isa 32:2 NIV Warning: The author of this blog is not an ordinary individual. Even Mermaids need a rest from all that's real and grown up. Welcome to the wonder of blog. Come be audience to all that's wet and wild in her stories, poems and thoughts. Instructor by day, super hero by night, and mystical mermaid by summer. Whenever she has the fortune of diving into a pond, reservoir, or mountain waterfall, you'll find her there swimming, and singing songs of life.
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