Bill’s Dinner’s Done Closed for Repairs by Heidi Robertson 7/13/2013
I’ve failed in domesticity
My parents tried to teach me
with fly swatters, wire brushes
No matter how much crying
Half done pot and pan drying
I grew expert in the art of hiding
confiding in books and writing
Making myself scarce
Heir to Virginia Woolf
The Good Book says right there
“No unclean thing can enter…
My hovel is in trouble!
This I know
I put on shoes just to avoid injury
My daughter dropped some cherries
on a tile floor, cafe décor when we were out to eat…
Without a second thought
I picked them up, brushed them off
rinsed them in the fountain drinks
and popped them in my mouth
“This floor is cleaner than the one at home,”
I justify. No lie.
So I’ll come clean. 🙂
I do not give it weight, the proper presidence to cleaning.
What consolation does domestic servitude bring
that songs and chimes and wind outside
the door can not
or trills and thrills of words on paper don’t
promise to make me feel alive
scratchy sieve grates sensitive skin
tries to keep me in
I won’t stand by
a snot nosed child pressed hard against the window screen
Smells like rain and calls to me
Remove the screen
Bad case of ADD I think
gets me ahead of children left behind
tending academic chores
worsens in selfish motives like two year olds at play
presents parental formulas for disaster
Exemplifying want for teenage daughters
what not to do
dropping feet of snow
rendering bedrooms unpassable
requiring chains and salt trucks
county crews just to clear a dreadful path
Find me catching snowflakes on my tongue.
Perhaps the list’s too short.
I do the math.
Three things to do, well two 🙂
sweep while girls sleep
eat…cross out eat
I eat a healthy diet of words but they’re still hungry
while culinary arts
throw darts at the refigerator
I shop for food just so I can fill the box, then throw it out
I grow mold
then in a week or two brood at meals and money lost
in fuzzy socks and gloves
throw it all away
Makes for happy magpies in the compost pile
but loud obnoxious bed partners
lacking snooze buttons
The other day I promised to make homemade
Mac N cheese, sure to please
only over cooked and fried the elbows
I give up. I need Alice from the Brady Bunch.
I fail at making jello.
Query how it’s done…..and done well too?
Even in Jurasic Park where velociraptors lurk
Cooks make short work of jigglers.
And those jigglers are amazing! How they warn of danger!
And stainless steel still stays shiny throughout the chase!
Perhaps it’s not my calling or my place
but still requires periodic maintenance
residence for admission
a precedence to hope to keep
Truth is…..to live requires food and eating.
And so my family is hungry
holding stock in cereal and fried eggs
Begging as I’m eating words like some bolemic tourist.
Excuse me while I gag….
I mistook my bathroom for the chicken coop
tooth paste droppings
and are those my hairy banty legs?
No frills anyway.
I am a writer. Waitress on the side.
Tell Bill I might be in today…I just don’t know,